4 Shocking Facts About Break Ups and Divorce

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Here are 4 Shocking Facts About Break Ups and Divorce.  In every state in the U.S, problems in, and outside, of marriage are causing couples to either breakup, or get divorced for less of a reason. In fact, in Oklahoma, the state with the highest overall divorce rate at 13.45%, just under a third of all adults who have been married have gotten a divorce. I’m not picking on the state of Oklahoma, because all of us, have, or are still contributing to that number. We’re doing so without considering the dire consequences that such is having on us as well as our children.

Broken families create broken neighborhoods. Broken neighborhoods create jacked up communities. Jacked up communities are the reason that our society is messed up as a whole. Let’s stop the madness. Couples who seek qualified coaching do two things. Either the avoid getting into a dysfunctional relationship, or prevent a good relationship from becoming dysfunctional. So, doesn’t it make sense to seek professional help before you start picking china patterns and cohabitating. Use some common sense, seek out a couples therapist, or relationship coach who can provide some insight and give sound advice about how to create and maintain a healthy relationship. Don’t become a statistic.  Don’t be one of those couples who either waits until there’s too much water under the bridge fix things, or be one of the one’s that just have to much ego take advantage of marriage counseling.

Let’s face it, isn’t it stupid to spend a small fortune on a ring, wedding and even a honeymoon, but fail to invest in creating a solid foundation for your future family. Do it yourself couples therapy, and ill fated advice from some equally jacked up friends and family members, only to make an already horrendous situation worse.

And for those of you “been there, done that” people, did you know the more often someone gets married, the more likely they are to get another divorce. 41 percent of first marriages end in divorce, but that number jumps significantly for the next marriages. 60 percent of second marriages, and a jaw dropping 73 percent of third marriages, will end in divorce. Here are 4 shocking facts about divorce:

  1. If someone has been in a relationship that has failed before, getting professional advice on relationships increases the odds for success significantly.
  2. The divorce rate for couples who have children is actually 40 percent lower than those who do not. Having kids to save a marriage is not necessarily a good idea, but having children apparently helps keep mature responsible couples together. Hint – If you’re thinking of having a child, or already have children and are considering living together talking to a relationship coach prior to making that move might be a good idea.
  3. Breakups jack up kids. Unfortunately, 43 percent of kids today are growing up without their fathers. While there are lots of reasons that might contribute to that trend, selfish, immature people who rush head long into a relationship certainly play a part. Staying together is a great way for parents to provide their kids, especially step kids, with the environment they need to develop into successful individuals.
  4. After a divorce, three quarters of kids will live with their mothers. Every family is unique, and kids will spend varying amounts of time with their fathers, if at all. It’s best that both parents to stay involved in the lives of their children to the extent possible. It is better for both parties to work together and maintain a mature functional relationship for the sake of the child, or children.

Lastly, you cannot un-strike a match. Divorce, separation and break ups hurt everyone involved, especially you. So before you rush into your next relationship. get you together. If you’re already in what seems to be a serious relationship, immediately consider getting some couples therapy. An ounce of prevention beats a pound of cure.

by Relationship Expert & Master Certified Coach

Dr. D Ivan Young

 

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