Is This Relationship Working? 5 Signs You’re On Track!

posted in: Relationship Tips | 7
Is this relationship working? Five Signs You’re On Track.
No relationship is guaranteed.. but is this on going anywhere? Relationships don’t come with a warranty, but the question is, is this relationship worth the time you’re putting in it. You’ve been in this neck of the woods for more than a minute now. Chances are you’ve seen these circumstances before. The last time you presumed you were heading to the alter your life ended up being adversely altered! The question is, can you afford to make the same mistake again? Now is the time to decisively determine if this relationship is worth the potential consequences. One thing is certain, as time progresses, the wear and tear on you mentally and emotionally is irreversible. Life is too short and death is too long for you to waste another season in your life waiting, wanting, wishing and hoping for something to happen that’s simply not going to.

Would it benefit you to determine if this connection is worth all of the effort you’re putting in it. Well today you’re in luck. Your Spirit led you to this article for a reason — your sanity. Over the next couple of paragraphs, I’m going to give you some sound strategies that will help you to see this relationship for what it really is. With that stated, keep in mind that all relationships serve you. People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lesson, and sometimes a combination thereof. However, not everyone you date, have feelings for or even become intimate with is intended to be your life partner. By following a few simple steps, you can quickly determine what your current relationship is all about.

The first question has very little, if anything, to do with your significant other and much more to do with and about you. What’s going on with you? Are you dating this person for the right reasons? In other words, is this relationship one that was planned or did it just happen? That isn’t to say there’s anything wrong with spontaneity, and there’s certainly nothing wrong with allowing a relationship to take its course, but, as with most things, things that just end up happening never last. Chances are your formless, undefined relationship will one day end just as it begun — something lacking form and structure. If, or should I say when, that happens, don’t be caught off guard; you’re reaping what you planted. One who fails to plan, often, and most inadvertently, planned to fail. With that stated, let’s get to the real meat and potatoes concerning your current dilemma.

  1. What Do You Want? Have you taken the time to really think about what you need and want in a mate? Have you written it down on paper? Doing so helps you to take a good look at your needed deliverables and desires. Did you think deeply or did you merely take superficial things into consideration such as looks, income and what the union can provide? Come on now. You’re too old to think like a child. I strongly advise you to consider your must haves and can’t stands. This includes things about you that you’re either willing or un-willing to accept or change. If you want a lasting meaningful relationship, you must put some lasting meaningful thought into one.
  2. Write Down What You And Your Partner Have In Common: Make a list of the subjects that the both of you commonly discuss. Next, make a list of the activities that you engage in most frequently. Now ask yourself a question; if this doesn’t change over the next few years, will it produce good fruit in my life? Lastly, don’t ignore your points of conflict. Chances are they will only get worse.
  3. Have A Real Conversation About Your Partner’s Plans For The Next 24 To 48 Months: If you’re not included in them, that doesn’t mean that you’re not in a good relationship, but it does mean you haven’t earned a spot in their future yet. I caution you not to see this as a death sentence for your relationship, but it’s definitely a sign that it’s not getting ready to head down to the alter anytime soon either.
  4. Share Your Plans For The Next 24 To 48 Months With Them: These plans need to include your personal, professional and social goals. If they aren’t interested in what you have to say, or they don’t appear to be on board with your plans that may not be a red flag, but it is certainly a yellow one. But, if they are in sync with you, this relationship may be headed in the right direction.
  5. Ask Your Partner How They Feel About Commitment: Warning — this is a step that must be taken with extreme caution. It can potentially be a point of no return. If they go cold on you, that’s a big indicator that you’re dealing with someone who’s not ready for commitment. Second, ask how they feel your relationship is going. Next, ask them what needs to be improved or fixed. Lastly, ask if they feel you are a good fit for them. Doing so will allow you to address previously hidden issues, and/or help you to determine if they’re as content with you as you are or are not with them.

Good relationships don’t just happen. They take work. Both parties must be committed to giving a substantial effort while being dedicated to willfully putting the concerns and well-being of the other party first. If your relationship isn’t headed down the aisle just yet, don’t panic. This simply may not be the time for such, and/or this person is merely in your life for a reason, a season or a lesson. However, if you made it past the first 4 steps and you’re on the same wavelength as it relates to values and lifestyle, the chances are good that this is a significant person for this season of your life. It doesn’t mean that he/she is Mr. or Ms. Right, but they are definitely Mr. or Ms. Right Now, which is not a bad thing. I urge you to not get ahead of yourself, but to enjoy the moment. But if you make it to step five and the two of you are on one accord, you’re headed toward something wonderful. Nonetheless, I urge you to take your time and enjoy the journey, good relationships are much more about the beauty of the voyage and much less about reaching a destination.

By America’s Leading Authority on Life, Love and Relationships — Relationship Expert Dr. D Ivan Young

7 Responses

  1. Haven’t considered doing a list of must haves and can’t stands. I’m not used to putting things down on paper but seeing as this is a very important decision (I might marry this woman someday soon) I will do it. I am in a relationship for 1 year now and I still feel like there are so many things she doesn’t know about me and I don’t know about her. This article was helpful and I am going to take your advice! Thanks!

  2. Done this with my previous girlfriend and she apparently wasn’t ready for a commitment. When I asked her these important questions she was very surprised and didn’t really know what to respond. It was too bad because we were doing well, but I wanted more while she didn’t. Maybe she wasn’t ready then, who knows?

  3. It’s funny because 4 months ago I asked my boyfriend what he sees himself doing in 2-3 years and I wasn’t included in those plans. When he realized this, he tried to include me but I told him I wasn’t upset with him and realized I needed to put more effort in our relationship for it to work. 4 months later we are making plans of forming a family!

  4. Comment…It is said that men usually fear commitment but I found that women fear it as well. I’ve been with 3 women who feared commitment. I wanted to get married and have children but each of them didn’t want that. Maybe I’m just not lucky and won’t be able to finding a woman that wants to get married. Or maybe she’s just waiting around the corner?

    • DIvanYoung

      James, when it’s your season, nothing will deny you. That which you seek is equally seeking you. While you wait continue perfecting yourself.

  5. Indeed, great relationship take work and you must be the first to give before you can receive. If you just wait for the other person to open their heart to you without you needing to do anything, then you are mistaken. You need to earn their love, respect and trust. You need to really want it and give it all you have and it’s going to be worth it!

  6. I like to know if you have a personal one on one coaching ?and how much it is ? Thanks .

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